دلارا

ghezavat (judgement)

2012-01-22T14:35:00.000-05:00

Man ki hastam ke ghezavat konam... cheshmaamo negaah kon, va zehneto baaz kon ke mani in harkat chist... digeh to digeh ki hasti ke ghezavat koni??

who am I to judge? Look into her (my) eyes, and open your mind to understand the real reason behind this bold statement ... now ask yourself..: who are you to judge ??

Watch this video...

-32 at Mont Tremblant Sunday January 15th

2012-01-16T22:46:00.001-05:00

cold but what an awesome day it was for skiing! great conditions! :)

buy organic and local!

2012-01-16T22:43:00.002-05:00

while it is a little heavier on the wallet (not by much though) buying free run organic chicken and eggs and milk, (and I mean that it needs to be local and the animal be treated using humane practices), and wild fish is 1) better for you 2) better for the planet; 3) better for the animals... no need to guy total vegan or vegetarian, just have to be conscious of what you buy and who you buy from! you would be shocked to know that the chicken, meat and other animal products on your pate tonight have come from the worst places ...

Death before dishonnour an Iranian's protest through street art

2011-12-03T02:00:00.001-05:00

Extremely powerful!

IN WALLS / street artists from Tabriz-IRAN / Nov.2011 from ICY And SOT on Vimeo.

Ashegh Hejaaz ! ajab ajab gousheyiye!!

2011-11-28T21:59:00.001-05:00

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ear orgasm...

2011-11-26T00:07:00.001-05:00

let the music take me away....

2011-11-25T23:36:00.001-05:00

I took a risk...

2011-11-25T23:11:00.001-05:00

I took a risk, I exposed myself, I exposed my heart ... at least I can say I tried... ACTIONS always spoke LOUDER than WORDS... unfortunately for some, those words remain more important than ACTIONS...if one were to think of those actions, words wouldn't remain in memory, only actions...

I wish I was born with such an amazing talent

2011-11-25T23:09:00.001-05:00

If I could only be born to compose music like this 12 year old! Ahh it's amazing!

دلم ایران میخواد، اما ایران من را نمیخواد دلم مانده در وطنم اما وطنم دلم راه نمیخوادLetters from Iran: What happened to the Iranian Revolution??

2011-11-12T01:09:00.001-05:00

Tears ...eyy...hameh alaan mast mikonan, ya unaaee hastan ziyaad pooldaaran o too iran alaki haal mikonan bedunike bedunan baraaye chi va vasseye chi haal mikonan. baziaa nun nadaaran shab bokhoran, bachehaaye koochik ziyaad shodan ke dar khiyabnahaa kaar mikonan shab o ruz vasseye 5 toman, unam ke malum nist dasteshun miresseh ya na .. unaee ham hastand ke omidvaaran, kheyliaa ham ruz be ruz bishtar faraar mikonan ya donbaal raahian vasseye faraar...

Chera man az mamlekatam bayad faraar konam??

دلم ایران میخواد، اما ایران من را نمیخواد
دلم مانده در وطنم اما وطنم دلم راه نمیخواد

Abu Ataa

2011-11-04T15:54:00.001-05:00

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The reoccuring question, so where are you from? Iran! Oh, I have a friend you might like him because he speaks Arabic!! Well actually I don't speak Arabic, I speak Farsi! Oh...So what's the difference between Farsi and Arabic??

2011-10-31T01:36:00.003-05:00

As my friends scratch their heads trying to figure out why or how come I don't understand Arabic, I find that time and time again I keep uttering and repeating the same speech over and over and over which is fine, but then I decided I'd rather just write about it and hope that people will read this post.

And so while I love my Arab friends, I don't speak Arabic. While I appreciate the language, I do not understand it. Just because we are all from the middle east doesn't mean we speak the same languages. And just because we have similar scripts, doesn't mean we can read or understand them all either.

I would like to ask the reader one simple question: Can a french speaker read and understand English without having prior knowledge of the english language? The ANSWER IS : Probably not! Are they the same script? Yes! Just like Arabic and Farsi, they are the same script but I can't understand or read it just as a french speaker can't understand or read english and vice versa without having prior knowledge of the language.

So I get this question all the time. Do you like Shawarma? Are you Muslim? I have an Arab friend, you might know him! And that's why I decided to write this article to help my fellow friends understand the differences, and learn to appreciate both languages distinctly and in their own ways.

I think Wikepedia does a great job at explaining what is the Iranian (Farsi) Language:

"Persian (فارسی, IPA: [fɒːɾˈsiː]) is an Iranian language within the Indo-Iranian branch of the Indo-European languages. It is primarily spoken in Iran, Afghanistan, Tajikistan and countries which historically came under Persian influence. The Persian language is classified as a continuation of Middle Persian, the official religious and literary language of Sassanid Persia, itself a continuation of Old Persian, the language of Persian Empire in the Achaemenid era.[2][3][4] Persian is a pluricentric language and its grammar is similar to that of many contemporary European languages.[5]
Persian has ca. 110 million native speakers, holding official status respectively in Iran, Afghanistan and Tajikistan. For centuries Persian has also been a prestigious cultural language in Central Asia, South Asia, and Western Asia.[6]
Persian has had a considerable influence on neighboring languages, particularly the Turkic languages in Central Asia, Caucasus, and Anatolia, neighboring Iranian languages, as well as Armenian, Arabic and other languages. It has also exerted a strong influence on South Asian languages, especially Urdu, as well as Hindi, Punjabi, Sindhi, Saraiki, Sylheti, Bengali, Oriya.[2][5][7][8][9][10]
With a long history of literature in the form of Middle Persian before Islam, Persian was the first language in Muslim civilization to break through Arabic’s monopoly on writing, and the writing of poetry in Persian was established as a court tradition in many eastern courts.[6] Some of the famous works of Persian literature are the Shahnameh of Ferdowsi, works of Rumi (Molana), Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam, Divan of Hafiz and poems of Saadi."

"The Persian Alphabet" (NOTE: this is where most people become confused):

The Persian or Perso-Arabic alphabet (Persian: الفبای فارسی) is a writing system based on the Arabic script. Originally used exclusively for the Arabic language, the Arabic alphabet was adapted to the Persian language, adding four letters: پ [p], چ [t͡ʃ], ژ [ʒ], and گ [ɡ]. Many languages which use the Perso-Arabic script add other letters. Besides the Persian alphabet itself, the Perso-Arabic script has been applied to the Urdu alphabet, Sindhi alphabet, Saraiki alphabet, Kurdish Sorani alphabet, Lurish (Luri), Ottoman Turkish alphabet, Balochi alphabet, Punjabi Shahmukhi script, Tatar, Azeri, and several others.

In order to represent non-Arabic sounds, new letters were created by adding dots, lines, and other shapes to existing letters. For example, the retroflex sounds of Urdu are represented orthographically by adding a small ط above their non-retroflex counterparts: د [d̪] and ڈ [ɖ]. The voiceless retroflex fricative [ʂ] of Pashto is represented in writing by adding a dot above and below the س [s] letter, resulting in ښ. The close central rounded vowel [ʉ] of Kurdish is written by writing two ﻭ [u], resulting in ﻭﻭ.

The Perso-Arabic script is exclusively written cursively. That is, the majority of letters in a word connect to each other. This is also implemented on computers. Whenever the Perso-Arabic script is typed, the computer connects the letters to each other. Unconnected letters are not widely accepted. In Perso-Arabic, as in Arabic, words are written from right to left while numbers are written from left to right.

A characteristic feature of this script, possibly tracing back to Ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs, is that vowels are underrepresented. For example, in Classical Arabic, of the six vowels, the three short ones are normally omitted entirely (except in the Qur'an), while the three long ones are represented ambiguously by certain consonants. Only Kashmiri, Uyghur and Kurdish, of the many languages using adaptations of this script, regularly indicate all vowels.

An author by by the name of Thomas Kayes on a website I found while doing a google search understood pretty well the differences between Arabic and Farsi, so it might give you insight on the differences, here it is:

The Difference Between Iranians And Arabs
Useless knowledge ^ | 02/07/05 | Thomas Kayes
Posted on Mon Feb 7 16:53:33 2005 by freedom44

"Many Americans seem to entertain the illusion that Iranians are Arabs. This may be due to the fact that many people in both communities practise Islam, which I'll mention below. Another coincidence that may have contributed to this confusion is the apparent similarity of the names Iran and Iraq. It is true that the Persian language and the Arabic share the same alphabet, namely the Arabic alphabet, which was imposed upon the Iranians centuries ago. But originally Persian had its own alphabet. Anyway, in Arabic script the names of the countries are entirely different, 'Iraq' beginning with the letter 'ain' and 'Iran' beginning with the letter 'alif'. The words 'Iranian' and 'Persian' are virtually synonymous, the former being the preferred term nowadays.

The Arabic word 'Iraq' means 'Veins' and, apparently, refers to the Euphrates and the Tigris Rivers.
But the clincher is that the word 'Iran' is cognate with the English word 'Aryan', as the Iranians are Aryan, that is, Indo-European, while the Arabs, as is well known, are Semitic, so ethnologically there's a definite disjunction. The Indo-European languages, which probably coincide in fair measure with ethnicity, are divided into Centum and Satem groups. Centum languages further divide into Germanic, Italic, Celtic and Greek, while Satem languages divide into Balto-Slavic, Indo-Iranian, Albanian and Armenian. Thus we find among Indo-European languages such widely divergent specimens as English, German, Spanish, French, Greek, Russian, Persian (Farsi), Hindi and many others. There are a great number of Arabic loan words in Persian, just as there are a great number of Latin loan words in English, but no one classifies English as an Italic language, nor should anyone classify Persian as a Semitic language. There are Persian loan words in Arabic too, but etymological dictionaries of the Arabic language are scarce, if they exist at all, and one is often left guessing which words might be from Persian.
Semitic languages are a subgroup of Afro-Asiatic languages. Only two strictly Semitic languages survive--Arabic and Hebrew. Extinct Semitic languages include Assyrian, Phoenician, Aramaic and others. Among languages in other subgroups of the Afro-Asiatic languages are Amharic, Tigrinya and Hausa of Ethiopia, Chad and Nigeria.

This ethno-linguistic disjunction is not merely an academic hypothesis. I have met many, many Arabs and Iranians, and there is a definite Arab look and a definite Iranian look. It's not infallible, of course, but I think I could probably tell them apart 75% of the time.

But even more conclusive is the historical aspect. Now we know that all ethnic groups must have sprung from primitive human beings, so likely they're all of great antiquity. But when we speak of 'history', we generally mean written records. And here we see that Persians appear on the scene much in advance of Arabs.

Generally, Persian history is said to have begun with King Cyrus the Great, who unified Persia and conquered vast tracts of land. He is also famous for liberating the Jews from captivity in Babylon around 538 BC, as is amply recorded in the Bible, in the Books of Isaiah, Daniel and Ezra. The next four Persian kings were Cambyses, Darius, Xerxes and Artaxerxes, all in the Bible. These names are all in the Greco-English spellings. Xerxes, whose name is Khashayarsha in Persian, Achashverosh in Hebrew and Ahasuerus in the English Bible, is vividly portrayed in the Book of Esther as the rescuer of the Jews from the persecutions of Haman, which is celebrated to this day by Jews as Purim, the Feast of Lots. All of these kings are also famous for their exploits in the Middle East, Anatolia, Greece and Egypt. Much later, another Persian king, Shapur I, defeated the Roman emperor, Valerian. And their have been many, many others.
In antiquity, Persia had various religious, such as Zoroastrianism, Mithraism, Mazdaism and Manichaeism, all to be largely supplanted by Islam. A more recent Iranian religion is the Baha'i faith.

As far as I know, the Arabs enter history around 305 AD, with the Nabataean Inscriptions, but these are scant. Their real entrance into history was the appearance of Mohammed (570-632 AD) Arabs conquered Persia in the seventh century, spreading Islam. Subsequently, in the 10th and 11th century, Turks took over the leadership of Islam, so Islamic history is not strictly the same thing as Arabic history. In the coming centuries Islam would extend its sway all the way from China and Indonesia to Spain. But the Ottoman Empire, once the world's greatest power, was a Turkish, rather than Arabic or Persian, Islamic Sultanate.

So Iranians are definitely not Arabs.

Source: http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1338091/posts

که غرق بوسه کنم باز دست و پای تو را

2011-10-24T23:45:00.000-05:00

بود که بار دگر بشنوم صدای تو را ؟
ببینم آن رخ زیبای دلگشای تو را ؟
بگیرم آن سر زلف و به روی دیده نهم ببوسم
آن سر و چشمان دل ربای تو را
ز بعد این همه تلخی که می کشد دل من
ببوسم آنلب شیرین جان فزای تو را
کی ام مجال کنار تو دست خواهد داد
که غرق بوسه کنم باز دست و پای تو را
مباد روزی چشم من ای چراغ امید
که خالی از تو ببینم شبی سرای تو را
دل گرفته ی من کی چو غنچه باز شود
مگر صبا برساند به من هوای تو را
چنان تو در دل من جا گرفته ای ای جان
کههیچ کس نتواند گرفت جای تو را
ز روی خوب تو برخورده ام ، خوشا
دل من که هم عطای تو را دید و هم لقای تو را
سزای خوبی نو بر نیامد از دستم
زمانه نیز چه بد می دهد سزای تو را
به ناز و نعمت باغ بخشت هم ندهم
کنار سفره ی نان و پنیر و چای تو را
به پایداری آن عشق سربلندم قسم
که سایه ی تو به سر می برد وفای تو را

در این میخانه خاموش و دور افتاده و خلوت

2011-10-24T23:43:00.001-05:00

در این میخانه خاموش و دور افتاده و خلوت

تن تنها نشسته نرم نرمک باده مینوشم .
کم و کم کم
من و خلوت
لبی تر میکنیم اهسته و نم نم .
و من با خویش میکوشم
که با هرجام
بلورین خلعتی بر قامت هر لحظه ای پوشم .
حریفم خلوت و ساقی سکوت ساکت صحرا
و من خاموش خاموشم .
و چشم انداز من تا چشم بیند دشت .
و بازیهای خاک و باد گهگاهی وزان با نور .
در این تنهایی و گلگشت
همین بازیست گر باری تماشایست .

( اخوان ثالث ))

دلم می......

2011-10-23T23:51:00.001-05:00

دلم ایران میخواد، اما ایران من را نمیخواد
دلم مانده در وطنم اما وطنم دلم راه نمیخواد

..........

God willing, god will be with you...

2011-10-23T23:45:00.002-05:00

I honestly believe that God is always on your side, I believe if you have the will and the compassion, you will be free and god willing, all will be well!

strive for your passion!

2011-10-23T23:44:00.003-05:00

"Celui qui se perd dans sa passion est moins perdu que celui qui perd sa passion." (Saint Augustin)

دلتنگی‌

2011-10-23T23:43:00.005-05:00

دلم از دلتنگی‌ خون است... تا کی‌ خواب تو را ببینم، تا کی‌ دستهایم را دراز کنم و دستم در تاریکی‌ بماند از دور بودن یار

Behrooz Emami My Father's Poetry

2011-10-23T23:20:00.002-05:00

This is a recording of some of my father's poetry recorded on an ipod at a private party we had. It is beautiful!! Listen to the words... I cannot believe it! I hope I will be able to write like him one day

Enjoy:

Shab sher bazm khoosoosi- Behrooz Emami by delnava

Two very big projects coming up !

2011-10-23T23:13:00.002-05:00

I have two personal and very important projects I am starting to work on! I hope I will succeed in making a difference with these projects as they are dear to my heart! Wish me luck!

Ceci est tres inspirant et tres vrai! wow, ecoutez jusqu'a la fin

2011-10-22T00:46:00.002-05:00

The running

2011-10-18T11:24:00.002-05:00

The running are always running and the walking are trying to run, and the still are trying to walk. The idea behind this is that we are always moving, but the running should try to walk and the walking should try to be still, until everyone is calm, and still. What is all this running for anyway? Where are we running to? Running is good if you are running into the arms of the ones you love, but other than that, running is useless because at some point God will force us still. Jobs, interviews, grades, work, money.... all into a blanket of stillness... yet because others are moving we must move, it is a force beyond the control of an individual and as much as we like to think we hare individuals who decide for ourselves, yet we depend on others who move and force us to move with them...

Rest in peace...

Inspiring

2011-10-18T11:20:00.002-05:00

Centenarian marathoner Singh sets world record by completing Toronto event

Published On Sun Oct 16 2011

Fauja Singh, 100, center, celebrates at the finish line after completing the Toronto Waterfront Marathon in Toronto on Sunday, Oct. 16, 2011. Singh became the oldest person to complete a full-distance marathon when he finished the race, earning a spot in the Guiness Book of World Records for his accomplishment.

CANADIAN PRESS/HO

The Canadian Press

TORONTO—Fauja Singh secured a spot in the Guinness Book of World Records on Sunday at the Scotiabank Toronto Waterfront Marathon.

The 100-year-old accomplished an amazing feat, becoming the oldest person ever to complete a full-distance 42-kilometre marathon. It took Singh over eight hours to cross the finish line — more than six hours after Kenya’s Kenneth Mungara won the event for the fourth straight year — and he was the last competitor to complete the course. But his time wasn’t nearly remarkable as the accomplishment itself.

“Beating his original prediction, he’s overjoyed,” said coach and translator Harmander Singh. “Earlier, just before we came around the (final) corner, he said, ‘Achieving this will be like getting married again.’

“He’s absolutely overjoyed, he’s achieved his life-long wish.”

Although event workers dismantled the barricades along the finish line and took down sponsor banners even as Singh made his way up the final few hundred metres of the race, a throng of media, family, friends and supporters were there when Singh made marathon history.

And Singh, who only speaks Punjabi, also surprised himself. Through his interpreter, he said he had set a goal of finishing the race in about nine hours.

“He said he achieved this through the help of God but even God must be getting fed up of helping him,” Harmander Singh said, drawing chuckles from assembled media after the race.

Sunday’s run was Fauja Singh’s eighth marathon — he ran his first at the tender age of 89 — and wasn’t the first time he set a record. In the 2003 Toronto event, he set the mark in the 90-plus category, finishing the race in five hours 40 minutes and one second.

And on Thursday in Toronto, Singh — whose first name means soldier — broke world records for runners older than 100 in eight different distances ranging from 100 metres to 5,000 metres.

Singh, a five-foot-eight, 115-pound British citizen and vegetarian, looked tired and spent following the race and organizers gingerly assisted him to the post-event news conference. After receiving gentle massages to his legs and calf muscles as well as cups of water from members of his entourage, Singh leaned back on a couch and spoke little to start the news conference.

But a short time into it, he began looking remarkably relaxed and fresh with his hands clasped behind his head. Then, he abruptly sat up straight and with a smile, motioned for the microphone, obviously getting his second wind.

“He says he’s recovered now so he’s going to talk,” his translator said, again drawing laughter.

Affectionately dubbed the Turbaned Tornado, Singh began running roughly 20 years ago after losing his wife and child. The five-foot-eight centenarian said he’s happy to see more minorities taking part in such marathon events and is hopeful his next project will be participating in the torch relay for the 2012 London Summer Games.

Singh carried the torch during the relay for the 2004 Athens Games.

Race director Alan Brookes struggled to find the right words to describe Singh’s remarkable accomplishment.

“I’m speechless,” he said. “Fauja Singh is a remarkable human being.”

درویش زیبا

2011-10-16T22:18:00.001-05:00

This is Persian calligraphy at its finest. Unfortunately I don't know the name of artist who crafted this beautiful piece but it's stuning nonetheless

من قبول کردم پاس چرا تو قبول نمیکنی؟

2011-10-16T21:11:00.000-05:00

Man dardeh eshgh ra ghaabool kardam pas chera to ghabool nemikonee? Man dardeh jodaaee ra ghabool kardam pas chera to ghabool nemikonee?

خبرت هست که بی روی تو آرامم نیست؟

2011-10-16T20:52:00.005-05:00

سعدی (غزلیات)/خبرت هست که بی روی تو آرامم نیست

‎خبرت هست که بی روی تو آرامم نیست؟
‎ طاقت بار فِراق این همه ایامم نیست
‎خالی از ذکر تو عضوی چه حکایت باشد؟
‎سر مویی به غلط در همه اندامم نیست
‎ میل آن دانه‌ی خالم نظری بیش نبود
‎ چون بدیدم ره بیرون شدن از دامم نیست
‎شب بر آنم که مگر روز نخواهد بودن
‎بامدادت که نبینم طمع شامم نیست
‎چشم از آن روز که بَرکردم و رویت دیدم
‎به همین دیده سر دیدن اقوامم نیست
‎نازنینا! مکن آن جور که کافر نکند
‎ور جَهودی بِکُنم بهره در اسلامم نیست
‎گو همه شهر به جنگم به درآیند و خلاف
‎من که در خلوت خاصم خبر از عامم نیست
‎نه به زِرق آمده‌ام تا به ملامت بروم
‎بندگی لازم اگر عزت و اکرامم نیست
‎به خدا و به سراپای تو، کز دوستیت
‎خبر از دشمن و اندیشه ز دشنامم نیست
‎دوستت دارم اگر لطف کنی ور نکنی
‎به دو چشم تو که چشم از تو به انعامم نیست
‎سعدیا! نامتناسب حَیَوانی باشد
‎هر که گوید که دلم هست و دلارامم نیست

خبر از عیش ندارد که ندارد یاری

2011-10-16T20:51:00.001-05:00

سعدی (غزلیات)/خبر از عیش ندارد که ندارد یاری

خبر از عیش ندارد که ندارد یاری
دل نخوانند که صیدش نکند دلداری
جان به دیدار تو یک روز فدا خواهم کرد
تا دگر برنکنم دیده به هر دیداری
یعلم الله که من از دست غمت جان نبرم
تو به از من بتر از من بکشی بسیاری
غم عشق آمد و غم‌های دگر پاک ببرد
سوزنی باید کز پای برآرد خاری
می حرامست ولیکن تو بدین نرگس مست
نگذاری که ز پیشت برود هشیاری
می‌روی خرم و خندان و نگه می‌نکنی
که نگه می‌کند از هر طرفت غمخواری
خبرت هست که خلقی ز غمت بی‌خبرند
حال افتاده نداند که نیفتد باری
سرو آزاد به بالای تو می‌ماند راست
لیکنش با تو میسر نشود رفتاری
می‌نماید که سر عربده دارد چشمت
مست خوابش نبرد تا نکند آزاری
سعدیا دوست نبینی و به وصلش نرسی
مگر آن وقت که خود را ننهی مقداری

Agar mitunestam intori baraat tar bezanam mizadam...

2011-09-01T21:11:00.000-05:00

Ke behet begam cheghadar delam tangeh baraat

Delam baraat tangeh ...

2011-09-01T21:05:00.001-05:00

Shab be golestan tanhaa,
Montazerat boodam...
key bar migardi?
Delam tangeh...

A Mother's Success, A Daughter's Happiness

2011-09-01T21:00:00.000-05:00

So proud of you mommy, you worked so hard. I admire your strength, independence, passion, honesty, femininity and beauty. I owe you not only my birth, but my heart, my soul, my life, my tears, my joys, my successes and everything I am blessed to have is because of your kindness, sacrifices and unconditional love! You are the perfect mother and a daughter couldn't ask for anything better than a God like you on this earth, I love you and I know I would be lost without you!

گپ و گفتی با رهبران اتحادیه‌ی کارگران کتابخانه‌های تورنتو در مورد کمپین آن‌ها برای نجات کتابخانه‌های شهر

تعجبی نیست که ناهید رهنورد، عضو هیئت اجرایی اتحادیه کارگران کتابخانه‌های عمومی تورنتو و مسئول بخش نورت یورک در این اتحادیه،‌ چند ساعت از وقت جمعه صبحش را اختصاص داده تا با من در مورد کمپین اتحادیه‌اش برای نجات کتابخانه‌های تورنتو صحبت کند. عشق و تعهد او به کتابخانه‌ی عمومی تورنتو واضح است.

هر چه باشد، بیش از 20 سال پیش که ناهید برای اولین بار وارد تورنتو شد یکی از اولین اقداماتش، مثل خیلی‌ها (و از جمله همین نگارنده) دریافت کارت عضویت این کتابخانه بود.

مارین اوریلی (راست) و ناهید رهنورد

او، که در دفترِ اتحادیه‌اش در بالای برجی در تقاطع یانگ و اگلینتون نشسته، می‌گوید: “پول چندانی نداشتیم که بتوانیم مسافرت برویم یا برای فرزندم بازی‌های الکترونیکی و اسباب‌بازی‌های آنچنانی بخرم، اما کتابخانه‌ها یار و یاورمان بودند.”

عشقِ ناهید به این کتابخانه البته آنقدر بود که در سال 1989 به استخدام آن در آید. از آن وقت تا به حال او همچنان برای کتابخانه‌های تورنتو کار می‌کند و از سال 1994 مسئولیت انتخاب کتاب‌های فارسیِ این مجموعه را نیز به عهده گرفته است.

سیستم کتابخانه‌ها در این سال برای اولین بار شروع به جمع‌آوری نظام‌مندِ کتاب‌های فارسی کرد. بودجه‌ی اولیه‌ی آن 3000 دلار بود اما به لطف تلاش‌های ناهید، و با رشد جمعیت، این بودجه در طول سال‌ها به 60 هزار دلار رسیده بود که البته حملات سال‌های اخیر دولت‌ها آن‌را به 30 هزار دلار کاهش داده است.

این کاهش بودجه البته فقط در بخش کتاب‌های فارسی زبان نبوده و سایر زبان‌ها هم با همین معضل مواجه شده‌اند. همین است که کیفیت بخش چندزبانه‌ی کتاب‌ها در حال پایین آمدن است. ناهید می‌گوید: “من همیشه سعی کرده‌ام استانداردمان خیلی بالا باشد. وقت زیادی صرف انتخاب و پیشنهاد کتاب‌هایی که خریده می‌شوند می‌کنم. جدیدترین کتاب‌ها را انتخاب می‌کنیم و در ضمن از کتاب‌های منتشره در همه جای جهان استفاده می‌کنیم. نه فقط ایران که اروپا، آمریکا و البته کانادا. حمایت ویژه‌ای از نویسندگان فارسی محلی هم می‌کنیم.”

تحت نظارت ناهید، کتابخانه حدود سالی 300 تا 400 نسخه کتاب فارسی تهیه می‌کند. این کتاب‌ها بر اساس بافت جمعیتی در کتابخانه‌های محلات ایرانی‌نشین توزیع می‌شوند. همانطور که می‌توانید حدس بزنید شعبه‌هایی مثل فیرویو یا نورت یورک بیشترین کتاب‌های فارسی را دریافت می‌کنند. اما در جاهایی که شاید کمتر تصورش را بکنید هم کلی کتاب فارسی پیدا می‌شود. مثلا بعضی شعبه‌های واقع در اسکاربورو مثل آلبرت کمپبل (بیرچمونت و دنفورت) یا سداربری (لارنس و مارکهام رود).

البته شعبه‌های بزرگی مثل “کتابخانه‌ی مرجع تورنتو” نیز بخش کتاب‌های مرجع فارسی خود را دارند. از جمله گنجینه‌هایی که تمام مجلداتشان در این‌ شعبه پیدا می‌شود لغت‌نامه‌ی دهخدا یا کتاب کوچه‌ی احمد شاملو است.

نگاهی در فهرست کتاب‌های فارسی موجود در کاتالوگِ کتابخانه نشان می‌دهد که ناهید واقعا سال‌ها است که زحمت این بخش از سیستم کتابخانه‌‌ها را کشیده و زبان فارسی انصافا این‌جا پاسدار خوبی پیدا کرده.

اما اگر حملات دولت برای کاهش بودجه‌ی کتابخانه‌ها ادامه پیدا کند، این وضعیت عوض خواهد شد.

مارین اوریلی، رئیس اتحادیه و نماینده‌ی 2400 کارمند کتابخانه‌های شهر، که در دفتر اتحادیه با من و ناهید هم سخن شده است، می‌گوید: “آن‌ها می‌خواهند انتخاب بخش چندزبانی را قراردادی کنند و به شرکت‌ها بسپارند.” یعنی این‌ کار به جای این‌که توسط کسی مثل ناهید انجام شود که به قول ناهید “از نزدیک با جامعه‌ی خود و نیازهای آن آشنا است” به دست شرکت‌هایی می‌افتد که خواست‌شان “فقط پیدا کردن مثلا 50 کتاب فارسی است و بس.”

کتاب‌های فارسی و حدود 40 زبان غیررسمی دیگری که کتابخانه‌ی عمومی تورنتو حمل می‌کند البته تنها بخشی نیستند که زیر ضربِ حمله‌ قرار گرفته است.

ابرهای سیاهِ حذف بودجه بر سراسر کل نظام کتابخانه‌ها، و در واقع کل نظام خدمات شهری، قرار گرفته‌اند.

شهردار راست‌گرای جدید شهر، راب فورد، آژانس بدنامِ “کی پی ام جی” را با قیمت گزاف 3 میلیون دلاری به خدمت گرفته تا با “بررسی” خدمات شهرداری، “پیشنهاداتی” برای کاهش مخارج ارائه دهد. تعجبی نیست که از جمله‌ی این “پیشنهادات” کاهش ساعات، کاهش برنامه‌ها و حتی تعطیلی چند تا از 99 شعبه‌ی کتابخانه‌ی تورنتو است که در سراسر شهر قرار دارند.

دیدار من از دفترِ اتحادیه چند هفته قبل و درست فردای روزی که این آژانس گزارش خود را در مورد کتابخانه‌ها منتشر کرد، بود.

مارین اوریلی البته آنقدرها هم از این گزارش غافلگیر نشده.

هر چه باشد آژانس “کی پی ام جی” در همه جای دنیا به دادن “مشورت”های اینچنینی مشهور است. همین آژانس بود که در زمان دولت محافظه‌کار مایک هریس پیشنهاد ادغام تورنتو با پنج شهر حومه‌ی آن و تشکیل شهرداری کنونی تورنتو را داد. ادغامی که تله‌ای برای اخراج‌ها و کاهش عمده‌ی خدمات بود و معمارین آن روزِ آن نیز امروز به اشتباهشان اعتراف می‌کنند. (البته شاگرد هریس، تیم هوداک، که امروز رهبر محافظه‌کاران انتاریو است، هیچ ابایی از آن کار ندارد).

همین است که مارین و اتحادیه‌اش بیکار ننشسته‌اند و از یک هفته پیش از انتشار این گزارش کمپین خود را برای نجات کتابخانه‌های تورنتو آغاز کرده‌اند. هدف آن‌ها مشخص است:‌ حفظ و گسترش خدمات،‌ ساعات و برنامه‌های هر 99 شعبه‌ی کتابخانه‌ی عمومی تورنتو.

مارین با شور و شوق از کتابخانه‌های شهرش دفاع می‌کند و صحبتمان خیلی زود از حالت مصاحبه خارج می‌شود و به گپ و گفت راجع به موجودی می‌کشد که هر سه نفرمان طرفدار و شیفته‌ی آن هستیم: یعنی کتاب و کتاب‌خوانی.

مارین می‌پرسد:‌ “سئوال این‌جا است که چرا دولت فورد دست به حمله به ما زده؟‌ او دو وعده داده بود: یکی این‌که خدمات را نمی‌زند و دیگر این‌که کسی را اخراج نمی‌کند و امروز دقیقا در حال تشویق همین دو کار است.”

می‌گوید:”ظاهرا تمام توجه شهردار متوجه این واقعیت است که ما شعبه‌های بیشتری از شیکاگو داریم. اما من می‌گویم کانادایی‌ها، بعد از دانمارک، دومین مردم کتاب‌خوان جهان هستند. مردم تورنتو عاشق کتابخانه‌های عمومی‌شان هستند.” بیهوده نیست که سیستم کتابخانه‌های تورنتو “شلوغ‌ترین کتابخانه‌ی عمومی جهان” است.

اما آیا وجود 99 ساختمان در سراسر شهر، آن‌طور که بعضی‌ها ادعا می‌کنند، اتلاف‌آور نیست؟

مارین توضیح می‌دهد که “اصلِ قابل دسترس بودن و ساختن نظام کتابخانه‌های محلی” به این معنا است که کتابخانه‌ها نه تنها جایی برای کتاب خواندن که سنگ بنای محلات خود هستند. مارین تعریف می‌کند که در همین تابستان می‌دیده که خیلی‌ها برای فرار از گرمای بی‌سابقه چند ساعتی برای خنک شدن هم که شده وارد کتابخانه‌ها می‌شدند.

نگارنده‌ی این سطور البته نیازی به متقاعد شدن در این زمینه ندارد. کار پوشش مسائل سیاسی و اجتماعی شهر، این نویسنده‌ی بی‌خودرو را به سراسر تورنتو (و فراسوی آن) می‌کشاند و وقتی باید چند ساعت وسط فلان محله‌ی اتوبیکو یا اسکاربورو منتظر باشی، جایی بهتر از کتابخانه برای استراحت و انتظار و در عین حال استفاده از وقت با خواندن نشریه یا کتاب پیدا نمی‌شود.

با چند ساعت انتظار در هر کدام از این کتابخانه‌ها البته می‌شود فهمید که مردمِ خود این محلات و مشتریان دائم این کتابخانه‌ها بیش از هر کسی نیازمندشان هستند. مثلا به همین شعبه‌ی کوچک و فسقلیِ باروز هال (در اسکاربورو، نزدیک شپرد و پروگرس) فکر کنید که در کار تهیه‌ی این مقاله سری به آن زدیم. در همه‌ی ساعات بخش مجلات و اینترنتِ کتابخانه پر بود و با هر که صحبت می‌کردی دریچه‌ای از امیدهای زندگی یکی از هم‌شهری‌هایمان پیدا می‌شد. و این شعبه‌ی باروز هالِ کتابخانه‌ی عمومی تورنتو بود که شهروندان با امکانات محدودِ آن دنبال امیدهایشان می‌رفتند، از یافتن شغل تا پر کردن فلان فرم اداری.

به قول مارین “بیرون کشیدن کتابخانه‌ها از قلب محلات اثری ویران‌گر بر زندگی مردم خواهد گذاشت.”

نبردِ پیش رو

با دولت اکثریت محافظه‌کار استفن هارپر و احتمال دولت محافظه‌کار در انتاریو بسیاری از کارگران و مردم نگران آینده‌ی خدمات هستند. مارین هم می‌گوید نگران پیروزی محافظه‌کاران در انتخابات ماه اکتبر و “سه دولت محافظه‌کار، که فکر نمی‌کنم تا به حال در تاریخ‌مان سابقه داشته” است.

اما از طرف دیگر می‌گوید چیزی که او را بسیار خوش‌بین و تشویق می‌کند این است که مردم می‌بینند فورد دارد به راه غلطی می‌رود “و این تاثیر بزرگی بر انتخابات استانی خواهد گذاشت.”

مارین می‌گوید اتحادیه‌های کارگری به بسیج خود علیه این اقدامات ادامه خواهند داد. اما حرکت مردم است که نقش اصلی را بازی می‌کند: “ما خیلی کارها کرده‌ایم. از مردم نظرسنجی کرده‌ایم. تبلیغات رادیویی کرده‌ایم. می‌خواهیم این پیغام را برسانیم که قضیه فقط خصوصی‌سازی زباله‌ها نیست. این‌‌ها می‌خواهند کل شهرِ تورنتو را خصوصی‌سازی کنند.”

رئیس “تی پی ال دبلیو یو” که در ضمن واحد 4849 در اتحادیه کارگران دولتی کانادا (CUPE) است، از توماری می‌گوید که در دفاع از کتابخانه‌ها راه انداخته‌اند. تا زمان صحبتمان 14 هزار نفر آن‌را امضا کرده‌اند. اما زمان نوشتن این مطلب اینقدر به تاخیر افتاده که تا امروز این رقم از 45 هزار نفر بالاتر رفته. با هر امضا البته ایمیلی به راب فورد و کمیته اجرایی شهرداری نیز فرستاده می‌شود. باید ببینیم کسانی مثل راب فورد و جورجیو مامولیتی، از نمایندگان شمال غربی شهر، که ادعای جواب به تک تکِ نامه‌ها و تلفن‌ها را دارند با این سیل ایمیل در مخالفت با تصمیمات‌شان چه خواهند کرد.

تصمیمات نهایی در این مورد را البته فورد یا مامولیتی نمی‌گیرند.

این کل شورای شهر است که باید تصمیم بگیرد. و گرچه دیده‌ایم که این شورا در خیلی مسائل کاملا کنار جناب شهردار ردیف می‌شود، اما اگر مردم حوزه‌های مختلف حالا که وقت انتخابات شهرداری نیست، با پاهایشان رای دهند و نظرات‌شان را به گوش نمایندگان محترم شورای شهر برسانند، آن‌ها خواهند دانست رای خیلی از به اصطلاح “میانه‌رو”های شورا، که بین چپ و راست در نوسانند، عوض خواهد شد. تا همین‌جا دیده‌ایم که حتی بعضی از پر و پا قرص‌ترین وفادارانِ‌ فورد، مثل فرانسیس نونزیاتا، سخنگوی شورا، بعد از دیدن نظرسنجی‌ها گفته‌اند به هرگونه کاهش خدمات کتابخانه‌ها رای منفی خواهند داد.

هر چه باشد نظرسنجی‌ها نشان می‌دهد که نزدیک به سه چهارم مردم مخالف کاهش خدمات کتابخانه‌های شهرشان هستند.

مشخص است که بسیاری از مردم این حرف مارین و ناهید را پذیرفته‌اند که “قضیه بسیار بیش‌تر از حفاظت از شغل‌های ما است. قضیه حفظ تورنتویی است که می‌خواهند نابودش کنند.”

پیشنهادات کاهش خدمات و تعطیلی احتمالی شعبه‌های کتابخانه‌ها در روزهای 25 و 26 سپتامبر مقابل شورای شهر قرار می‌گیرد. یعنی هنوز یک ماهی وقت دارید که نظر خودتان در این مورد را به گوش نماینده‌تان در شورای شهر برسانید. و البته در همین روز حضور در شورای شهر می‌تواند صدایتان را مستقیم‌تر به گوش برساند.

برای اطلاعات بیشتر در مورد کمپین نجات کتابخانه‌ها به وب‌سایت ourlibrary.to مراجعه کنید.

Trust : a film about the realities of every day life

2011-08-26T23:37:00.002-05:00

I saw this movie tonight, and I was really affected by it. I highly recommend teens and parents watch this movie. We often ignore news reports about the happenings between teens and older men who pose as young guys online, to brainwash and trick naive or vulnerable girls to believe that these men actually care about them, love them and want to be with them, when really all their are thinking about is their perverted agenda (child porn, rape, and so forth). Yet, these news reports are true, they are real!! very real in fact. And most girls won't talk about their experiences because they are tricked into believing it is their fault for what is happening to them, they feel ashamed or don't want to hurt their parents. PLEASE PLEASE, if you see your young teen spending too much time online chatting instead of participating in family activities or ignoring her homework, her friends and becoming antisocial as a result of her online habit, look into it as soon as you can. The worst things come out of these situations, so it is better to see the signs and prevent it from happening to your child. Also, be supportive of your child. Don't be accusatory because it just makes everything harder for the child to deal with. Listen to your child and observe her behaviour. This is not just a problem with young girls but boys too fall in this trap. Be AWARE and watch this movie! A highly recommended film.

نميدوني; عبدالعلي وزيري

2011-08-26T01:16:00.000-05:00

Reconfiguration

2011-08-15T01:27:00.003-05:00

At 25, after having spoken to the only one who will always be there by my side no matter what the circumstances of life may be (i.e. my mother), I realize I need to embark on a reconfiguration of my life and figure out what I want, and how to enjoy life! I need to start enjoying life! Relax, take time for myself. I have to learn, a lot more than I thought I already knew! This year will be the year I go back to feeling happy with my body, my mind and my academics! That is my focus! Let's hope I can achieve this goal!

The touch of a lonley heart (عشق را دوست دارم اما به درد عشق نمیخورم

2011-04-07T01:43:00.000-05:00

The touch of a lonely heart

Some people are meant to be alone in this world. Some hearts are meant to be untouched. They may be loved, cared for, but never too close shall they be allowed to advance as they are fragile and may break if not cared for in solitude. Some hearts are black, lack emotion for the most part. Others draw fine balances between lacking emotion and love, and others still are too deeply entrenched and intoxicated by love that when they do not receive it back or when they are not cared for in the same manner they care others, they break. These hearts are meant to be acquainted with. They make for the best of friends, the kindest of souls, the most lovable and the most loved, but they are not to be be paired with another for life. They are best to be left alone, as it is likely that will never find another like theirs and settling for a heart unlike theirs can be emotional suicide.

daaram be natijeh miressam ke eshgh ro dust daaram amaa be dard'e eshgh nemikhoram..

بهترین طوطی سخنگوی ایران

2011-03-30T21:14:00.000-05:00

حتما ببینید شاهکار دیگری از نو جوانان گروه عجم آباده

2011-03-29T23:13:00.000-05:00

Parisa Rabii Solo Santour (Music by Ostad Payvar and Maestro Hossein Dehlavi)

2011-03-29T23:01:00.001-05:00

Re: Close your eyes ( an experiment) -Reposted as Blindness

2011-03-14T01:10:00.000-05:00

I posted this piece in 2007. But after having recently read the book "Blindess" by Jose Saramago, I suddenly remembered having written something quite similar in thought. As I read through what I wrote in 2007, I begin to make comparisons to my experiment and Saramago's novel. In this experiment, I experienced fear, failure, uncertainty but I also gained knowledge. What I lacked was courage. To all those wanting to feel what it is like to be blind, you don't have to turn to a blind person or conduct an experiment such as mine. All you have to do is look yourself in the mirror, for according to Saramago, we are blind but seeing. WE ARE BLIND BUT WE ARE SEEING. Indeed, we are seeing blindness, and living as though everything was clear and rational. Rationality however continues to fail us time and time again. What remains, in the light of our souls, if any left, some compassion, a sense of hope and humanity. We are the future living in our present, but if we don't take care of the present, there will be no sense of hope and then truly we will be blind mind, body and soul.

I recommend this read, and I have posted my 2007 post below:

Today, in the center of Ottawa University's big artifical grassy soccer/football field, I sat in silence, in peace. Under the sun which gleemed and smiled at me warmly, I felt my world getting smaller and smaller and that nothing else really mattered but that instant. I got up, and from the starting line of the football field, by the goal posts, I closed my eyes and focused on keeping my eyes closed. I walked with them shut firmly trying hard to forget that I might hit a post or something that may prevent me from attaining the other end of the field without fear and hesitation.

What I was trying to do is to see how paranoid me (as the lab rat of this experiment) I really am. I failed as I felt something hitting me but really it was the reflection of the light that made me think that something was blocking my way. I flinched and was startled a few times. I failed to achieve the other end of the field. I tried coming back the same way, but again I flinched. I must have looked like a lunatic, but the field was wide and no one was there to watch me or judge me. I failed, but what I did achieve is knowledge. I realized how we get so caught up in certain things or that we are so instantly afraid or scared of our future and destiny. Why can't we allow ourselves to let destiny take us to whatever point we want it to take us? We are forced to be overly rational about our decisions. Anyway, I tried this on a friend of mine. I watched him walk down the field in the same way. He didn't get startled as much, but he did not make it to the end of the field with his eyes shut! What this proves is that we are unfocused, uneasy and not ready to let our thoughts go...let the journey take us to the unknown, eyes closed, mind focused and worry-free.

You can try this experiment and let me know what happens to yourself. It'd be interesting to know! :)

Love's blindness

2011-03-13T19:48:00.008-05:00

We often, in fact all most always take advantage of the ones we love. We believe that their love is unconditional and we become blind, we don't see them. We venture seeking other pleasures, thinking all along that whatever the rough and tumble, the one that loves us will tolerate us, will love us, because they always have so they forget how not to love us. We treat them as if they were a shadow in the distance, something so known yet we become careless of it, walking over it, forgetting to take care of its importance. We forget to look back, call out for the shadow to be by our side. These pleasures, these time ticking satisfactions, these things we call important, friends we believe need us more than the the love that now seems to us like a vague memory, alas they vanish at some point, the minutes turning to seconds and suddenly it hits! Darkness! The shadow has too vanished. What happened you ask yourself? The shadow has grown stronger in your absence, it has learned that although pain hits her heart like a dagger, she is ready to let go now for as she reflects on her love, she begins to realize that had scarified all and in turn has learned to be forgotten. She was blind and her blindness is what made her into this shadow, so faint that no longer does she recognize herself. She seeks to break free for the shadow, and it is precisely at that moment in time when you begin to remember her absence, it is at the moment when you begin to turn back that she is no longer there. When you have opened your eyes, you will have realize that you have become blind, that you can no longer see. Indeed she has broken free, her shadow squeezing out of the darkness and into the bright light, so bright that it has what caused you to become blind. For what else could you expect! After all the neglect and abandonment of her love, now it is your turn to become the shadow amongst her light, so vague a memory to her, so faint that you may even have abadonned yourself in the process. Does it matter anyway, you can't see! You call her out to help you, and although your voice may be heard, she may never answer your call in kind. If she is wise, she will not be the messenger of your salvation. If she should be doubtful, she too will be drowned out and nor you nor she will exist. Therefore it is better to let go, for if it is to carry on, this love will turn to darkness, and darkness to habit and habit to instability and instability to the birth of a sickly disease .. all things broken...love is hit with an unforgiving blindness. Remember this only: Love can only be called love when words turn to actions. If you love, then you cannot forget that she is to be your light, and never your shadow. Give to her selflessly and she shall too. If i am wrong, then humanity is lost. I am sure however, that humanity will prevail, even between the cracks of the coldness and the cruelty of our egos.

شرم تان باد ای خداوندان قدرت

2011-02-13T22:13:00.000-05:00

شرم تان باد ای خداوندان قدرت

شرم تان باد ای خداوندان قدرت
شرم تان باد ای خداوندان قدرت
بس کنید بس کنید از اینهمه ظلم و قساوت بس کنید
ای نگهبانان آزادی نگهداران صلح
ای جهان را لطف تان تا قعر دوزخ رهنمون
سرب داغ است اینکه می بارید بر دلهای مردم، سرب داغ
موج خون است این که می رانید بر آن کشتی خودکامگی را، موج خون
گر نه کورید و نه کر، گر مسلسل هاتان یک لحظه ساکت می شوند، بشنوید و بنگرید
بشنوید این وای مادرهای جان ‌آزرده است کاندرین شبهای وحشت سوگواری می کنند
بشنوید این بانگ فرزندان مادر مرده است کز ستم های شما هر گوشه زاری می کنند
بنگرید این کشتزاران را که مزدوران تان
روز و شب با خون مردم آبیاری می کنند
بنگریداین خلق عالم را که دندان بر جگر بیدادتان را بردباری می کنند
دست ها از دست تان ای سنگ چشمان بر خداست
گر چه می دانم آنچه بیداری ندارد، خواب مرگ بی گناهان است و وجدان شماست
با تمام اشک هایم باز نومیدانه خواهش می کنم
بس کنید بس کنید
فکر مادرهای دلواپس کنید
رحم بر این غنچه های نازک نورس کنید
بس کنید

‎دلم آنجاست که آن دلبر عیار آنجاست

2011-01-28T01:38:00.000-05:00

درد دل پیش که گویم؟ غم دل با که خورم؟

‎خرم آن بُقعه که آرامگَه یار آنجاست
‎راحت جان و شفای دل بیمار آنجاست
‎من در این جای همین صورت بی جانم و بس؛
‎ دلم آنجاست که آن دلبر عیار آنجاست
‎تنم اینجاست سقیم و دلم آنجاست مقیم
‎ فلک اینجاست ولی کوکب سیار آنجاست
‎ آخِر ای باد صَبا! بویی اگر می‌آری
‎ سوی شیراز گذر کن، که مرا یار آنجاست
‎درد دل پیش که گویم؟ غم دل با که خورم؟
‎ رَوَم آنجا که مرا محرم اسرار آنجاست
‎ نکند میلْ دل من به تماشای چمن
‎ که تماشای دل آنجاست که دلدار آنجاست
‎سعدی! این منزلِ ویران چه کنی؟ جای تو نیست!
‎ رخت بربند؛ که منزلگه احرار آنجاست

Delam por bud emshab...

2 weeks till fate!

2010-12-09T02:00:00.000-05:00

2 weeks, 4 tests of mental strength and stamina.... this is fate! I will try my best and whatever fate may be will be! Either way, freedom awaits me at the gaits, for better or worse! Or for better and for better!?? lol!

Updates!

2010-11-13T14:30:00.000-05:00

I should update my blog but I have been so busy with school and facebook seems to have absorbed my desire to keep my blog updated! I promise to update it soon! Happy reading :)

راهی ‬

2010-09-19T22:34:00.002-05:00

راهی

روم از این جهان تلخ و تاریک که تیشه بر دل تنهای من زد
ندیدم جز بدی و بی وفایی
که از نامردمی سر به فلک زد

دلم خواهد روم من به جهانی
که شادی و شعف را من ببینم
ببینم نوری از جنس محبت
که در زندان تاریکی اسیرم

خدایا من ازین دنیا رها کن
مرا راهی شهر قصه ها کن
بکن راهی جایی که نباشم
خدایا گر شود من را فنا کن

که بغضی قلب من را میفشارد
و اشکم از چش ِ من می تراود
نمیدانم کدامین دزد رندی
همه لبخند من را می رباید

مرا تو راهی راه ابد کن
بیا و با بدی هایم تو سر کن
همیشه در همه حالی تو را من میپرستم
بیا من بدتر از من در بدر کن

خدایا گرچه نی خواهی بمیرم
ولی در راه عشق من را هدر کن

(Poet: Seena Taghavi)

Mahyar Fazeli مهیار فاضلی

2010-09-19T20:53:00.000-05:00

می ترسم

2010-09-11T22:02:00.006-05:00

می ترسم
از رهایی دلم میترسم
‎از دردی که سالها فزون شده
‎می ترسم

‎از تلخی تنهایی
‎از شبهای بی ستاره میترسم
‎از این نا آرام می ترسم
‎از خموشی خنده بر لبهایم میترسم

‎از رهایی دلم می ترسم
‎چون در پی این آزادی
‎
نماند کس که بسپارم دلم را
‎
عشق زیباست
شیرین چون قند
دردناک
بی گناهی در بند

باز میکنم این دل قفسم را
رها می کنم این دل
دیوانه دلم را

Peaceآرامش

2010-09-11T01:19:00.000-05:00

Just close your eyes and listen to this:

Keep your eyes closed, take deep breaths ...peace...

Facebook feeds narcissism!

2010-09-01T23:12:00.000-05:00

Facebook feeds narcissism, survey says

New study suggests correlations between narcissism and behavior on Facebook in young adults
People who scored higher on narcissism test spent more time on Facebook
Male narcissists were more self-promotional in their "About Me" descriptions
Female users with narcissistic tendencies tended to use images in their self-promotion

In a rather small survey conducted by a young psychologist, Facebook was shown to have some interesting correlations with self-esteem and narcissism in young adults.
In a survey of 100 college students, young people with narcissistic personality traits were shown to exhibit Facebook activity that was distinctly more self-promotional. These people had "About Me" sections that referred to their intelligence and photos that were more about displaying the user's physical attractiveness than about capturing memories with friends.
Narcissism is defined in the survey, by a researcher at York University in Toronto, Canada, as "a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration and an exaggerated sense of self-importance."

For the average narcissist, Facebook "offers a gateway for hundreds of shallow relationships and emotionally detached communication." More importantly for this study, social networking in general allows the user a great deal of control over how he or she is presented to and perceived by peers and other users.
Mashable.com: Study says social media is for narcissists
The study postulated that narcissists would show more overall Facebook activity than average users and that their activity would be more self-promotional, either descriptively or superficially.

The survey's results showed "significant positive correlations between narcissism and self-promotional content in the following areas: Main Photo, View Photos , Status Updates and Notes."
People who scored higher on the study's narcissism test also spent more time on Facebook and checked it more times each day than their less narcissistic counterparts.
Mashable.com: Weekend stories you may have missed
Male narcissists were more self-promotional in their "About Me" descriptions, using this section as an opportunity to highlight their intelligence and wit.

Female users with narcissistic tendencies tended to use images in their self-promotion, uploading content that "include[d] revealing, flashy and adorned photos of their physical appearance."

The researcher notes that this study is intended to be a preliminary look at nonynous social networking, a fairly new field for academic scrutiny. As we abandon the fake avatars and cryptic usernames of years past and begin associating our online identities with our real-world lives, our online activities begin to have more relevance to our true personality traits.

Setar (Daramad Mahur)-by Me -Practice

2010-08-31T20:34:00.000-05:00

So I started with Radif last week. I was so happy my setar teacher started me on Radif! it is very exciting

So this is the first piece i learned and recorded. Hope you enjoy it!

Daramad_Mahur Version 2 (practice) by delam

Alim Qasımov / Fikrət Əmirov / Kor Ərəbin mahnisi

2010-08-29T22:36:00.000-05:00

4 months of summer and what a turn around!

2010-08-29T22:27:00.001-05:00

I've reached my goals: I am fit, healthy, happy, focused and proud! I am finding my way and I am having fun! Life is beautiful even in its hardest times!

Shajarian- Beshnavid ey gorouh janbazan by delam

2010-08-23T19:53:00.003-05:00

Shajarian- Beshnavid ey gorouh janbazan by delam

2010-08-23T19:53:00.001-05:00

Shajarian- Beshnavid ey gorouh janbazan by delam

new beginnings once more...

2010-08-16T22:52:00.000-05:00

A new vision upon my return...
old memories burned...
heartbreaks overturned...
stress in control...
a smile on my face...
music in my heart...
poetry I embrace...
New friends to find...
good old ones on my mind...
throw away the bad..
keep the good close to home..
I love what I do...
I love what I study...
I have high aspirations...
great goals I would like to acheive...
this time
no more games...
no more mistakes...
it's just me...
I'm ready
In control of my new begninng!

Sacred and love stricken (Mitarssam)

2010-07-28T11:33:00.002-05:00

I wrote this poem or expression of feeling in both persian and farsi. I had some well needed help from a good friend one mine for the Farsi part for editing !

In English:SCARED

I am scared
scared to let go of my heart
a heart that has been locked in a dark and battered cage struggling to survive
The time spent in this cage has tamed it
has taught it not to trust
to breath
to feel pain
to see colour
And what if I see that bright sun
shine
what if I can't sleep at night someday
thinking of setting it free
Should I be scared?
Terrified as I am
This feeling
Is the most beautiful feeling in the world
And although protected
I need to see it free

In Farsi: MITARSAM...

Az rahayee'e delam
Az dardi ke salhaa keshideh delam
Az ghami ke fozoon shodeh MITARSSAM.

Mitarsam az rahaee,
Rahaee az yek ghafase khood sakhte
MITARSSAM
Az talkhi tahnhayee
Az bikhaabihaa shabhayeh bi setareh
Az in hess'e na araam
Az khamooshi'e khande bar labahaam
MITARSSAM...

Az rahayee delam mitarssam
Choon dar peye in azaadi
Namanad kess ke beseparam aan del raa,
Eshgh chun zibaa,
Chun shirin
Chun dardnaak
Amaa
Ghaffas'e del ra baaz mikonam o mikonam in del rahaa :)

-Del. Em

Fille seule (Dokhtar'e Tanhaa) A song I wrote

2010-07-25T21:49:00.000-05:00

This is a song I wrote to describe the struggles I had growing up as a first generation Canadian. It is a rap song, the chorus is written in Persian and the song itself is in French! Let me know what you think

Fille seule (Dokhtar'e Tanhaa) by delam

I'm riding solo '

2010-07-21T00:46:00.001-05:00

Can't stop my shine! Feeling this track a lot!

glimpse of musical passion

2010-07-19T13:32:00.000-05:00

Lessons pt. 4

2010-07-18T14:35:00.000-05:00

After about 5-6 months this yr, noticing that it is not working out, a break was well needed. Now it is over and I am happy because although it made it through the fire, it didn't make it through the rebuilding stage. When you find someone who loves and respects u and visversa but when difference of opinions and personalities come to play, there is nothing you can do. Take good care!

Beeekini!

2010-07-14T22:42:00.002-05:00

If I get one, what colour and what style should I get? I know summer is at it's mid point but I can't wait till the day I can wear one with pride! I like red, purple, green, black and gold, colouful, not so much into the coral scene, I like flowers, we'll see! :D

Practice

2010-07-14T22:41:00.000-05:00

In order to succeed in anything you do, you need focus and practice! For the first time in over a year, I was able to actually sit still for 6-7 hrs straight focused on playing the setar, practicing my piece of music without putting down the instrument for more than 5 minutes (and even at that, I only took 3 5 minutes breaks at the most). I am very proud of my focus, determination and concentration. It has been a lingering issue for me over the past year, and I know that I still got it, but my instrument teaches me patience, pratice, love and provides me guidance. I hope to be able to incorporate this type of discipline in my daily activities. On that note, I had started to write down a list of weekly tasks. I am also proud to say I have completed them all without delay. My work is going very well and I am happy with my progress and determination. Maturity is not something that comes over night, neither focus nor success. Such things take practice, digging into your faults and accepting them for what they are, accepting yourself for who you are and working to resolve the issues! PRACTICE!

Old poems and writings of mine+a few words about the world cup

2010-07-11T21:40:00.002-05:00

I was cleaning out my garage a few weeks ago and I had found some old poems and free verse writings of mine in a few notebooks which had been tucked away in big suitcase for quite a long time. I had the chance to glance at what I had written over the years. Not bad, but definitely needs some editing! I may start to post some of it up here!

As for the World Cup finals, I purchased a Netherlands flag, went to the bar with one of my really good friends and enjoyed myself. I was also wearing a red shirt,albeit unintentionally until my friend pointed out the irony in the matter. All in all, when Spain scored the goal, I waived my Netherlands flag up high and was happy that Spain had won because it was a very fair game. Throughout this World Cup, I never had a team favourite. I chose instead to watch the teams play and decide out of skill, technique, team spirit and discipline, who deserved to win the match more. I think that Netherlands and Spain were both winners in this game. Netherlands fought hard and long and so did Spain. However, in the end, the Netherlands lost their cool and made a disciplinary error which cost them a red card and a man short. Capitalizing on this mistake, Spain ordered in another forward striker and with determination, the very able team finally managed to score the winning goal. Iniesta is sure to be the soccer hero in Spain for years to come. I can forsee his jersey selling more than that of David Villa's. It was a superb tournament. As for the Netherlands flag, I left it hanging up on a bar railing, half-massed out of respect for the nation and the team that had worked so hard. I left the bar hoping someone would pick up the flag, put side by side right next to the Spain flag and call it one of the most spirited and entertaining World Cup tournaments seen in years. Last note: I only wish it was Germany versus Spain. Viva Football!

PS... we lost our soccer tournament, which was also a real big upset!

pride

2010-07-10T21:48:00.000-05:00

It is good to be humble and friendly and down to earth. When others realize your potential and are proud to be associated with you, it makes you feel that much better about who you are as a person because you know that inside you bear those qualities but that you are so humbled by others that you don't really think about why people are proud to be associated with you, instead you are much prouder to be associated with them! SMILLLLLLESS AND LAUGHTER ... it was a very great night! :D

Nerves

2010-07-10T16:30:00.000-05:00

I get nervous for some reason when I do something. It's so hard to break free from this habit of being nervous as well. I put too much pressure on myself and in the end, it doesn't go well because I can't relax. I don't know why I put pressure on myself but it is something that I need to handle because stress and nerves are the worst. It is good and necessary to be successful, but it's like the story of the turtle and the rabit. The turtle walks slowly but makes it in the end anyway, no pressure, no stress. I have to learn to become the turtle sometimes!

What to do when you have two commitments?

2010-07-10T11:35:00.000-05:00

What do you do when you have two commitments that are of equal importance? Both commitments involve team work and you know that if you don't go to one you'll miss out on the other but on top of that, people are relying on you to go? Planning ahead is nice, however, sometimes you can't plan ahead for these types of situations. I guess you do what's right, but it is hard when you feel equally responsible on both ends!

Today, I will choose the latter and hope I have made the right choice!

عشق در دل ماند و یار از دست رفت

2010-07-05T18:45:00.004-05:00

عشق در دل ماند و یار از دست رفت دوستان دستی که کار از دست رفت

ای عجـب گــر مـن رسـم بـر کــام دل کی رسـم چـون روزگـار از دست رفت

Only in IRI does the gov't have to approve hairstyles, lol hilarious! (from yahoo.com)

2010-07-05T18:34:00.000-05:00

reference: http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/afp/100705/oddities/iran_politics_fashion_offbeat

This is really ridiculous! Personally., I like the diverse hairstyles, it is very cool to see how creative the guys get with their hair! Anyways, what else are they going to do? They're young guys! We all like fashion, girls, guys, everywhere around the world! Let's live a little!

TEHRAN (AFP) - Iran's culture ministry has given its blessing to a number of "Islamic" haircuts for men, with ponytails failing to make the list, the ILNA news agency reported on Monday.

ILNA and other agencies carried pictures of mostly clean-shaven male models sporting short hair, some styled with gel, in a "journal of Iranian hairstyles approved by the ministry of (culture and Islamic) guidance." "The proposed styles are inspired by Iranians' complexion, culture and religion, and Islamic law," said Jaleh Khodayar, who is in charge of a "Modesty and Veil Festival" later this month where they are to be promoted. "We are happy that the Islamic republic of Iran's government has backed us in designing these hairstyles," she said, adding that a catalogue of haircuts for men would soon be published.

Iranian police carry out regular morality crackdowns, arresting and warning women in figure-hugging short coats and flimsy headscarves as well as men sporting spiky hair and tight, low-slung jeans.
The Islamic veil is mandatory in Iran, which has sought to keep defiant urban youths properly covered since the establishment of the Islamic republic over 30 years ago.
Several barber shops have reportedly been shut down and penalised in recent years for offering "decadent Western cuts." Conservative clerics have called for firmer action against un-Islamic dressers and hardline President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad came under fire last month for expressing opposition to a tough police crackdown on immodest attire.

The flying car: Just goes to show that a childhood dream can become reality!

2010-07-05T18:28:00.001-05:00

From yahoo.com: http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/yahoocanada/100630/canada/flying_car_a_step_closer_to_reality

Weird-looking cars are a dime a dozen. Far less common are weird-looking cars that can also fly AND have approval from the Federal Aviation Administration. Indeed, as far as we know, there's only one of those babies: The Terrafugia Transition.

The private aircraft/funky-looking car has been in the news before. But the recent announcement that it's going into production sparked mega-searches on the Web. Almost immediately, online lookups for "terrafugia transition" and "terrafugia transition pictures" both, well, took off.

A popular article from the UK's Daily Telegraph explains that the FAA's special exemption allows the vehicle to function as both a "light aircraft" and a car. Normally, for a plane to meet the "light aircraft" designation, it can weigh no more than 1,200 pounds. The Terrafugia Transition weighs 1,320, due primarily to the number of car-related safety features, like airbags and crumple zones. The "light aircraft" designation is key, because licenses for planes with that label require only 20 hours of flying time. Fewer hoops to jump through means more potential sales.
So, how does the plane/car work? Check out the flying car's official video below. So far, 70 people have placed a deposit. The total retail cost: $194,000. Expensive, but really, can you put a price on skipping commercial flights.

two things i want to say about G20 and the HSTC (Ontario's new tax)

2010-07-01T00:17:00.007-05:00

Let me get right into it.

Issue #1: I am sorry. I find it really offensive when I see people rioting and burning police cars and claiming that the police have violated their S.7 and other Charter rights? Does this make sense? NO! You have the right to speak your mind in Canada, but if you're going to kick a regular TAX paying citizen's door down or shatter his/her windows just to demonstrate your anger at the world's leaders and world politics, I'm sorry but there is no excuse for such behaviour. That man or woman has mouths to feed, debts to pay, what does he or she have to do with the G20???
Maybe I am overgeneralizing this matter, but I got to be honest at least it is of my opinion that lot of people that weekend didn't even know what the G20 was... some of them don't shower (excuse my bias and sarcasm), others use it as an excuse to vent anger and others more, to use drugs and participate it other illicit activities.

THEN there are those who ACTUALLY HAVE a cause and are ACTUALLY FIGHTING for it, in a non-violent manner. This is shameful, considering we live in a democratic country and if anyone is going to say, well Canada isn't necessarily a democratic country and that democracy means nothing, well then I will refer you to many authoritarian and dictatorial countries in all parts of the world, Africa, Central and South America, the Middle East, etc. Now, let's pick Iran for example. Iran is not a democratic country in which you are allowed to protest freely and speak your mind freely without fear of retribution. Despite this, I would say that the youth, women, men, old and young people of Iran came out on many occasions after the reelection of AN and protested against the reelections because they felt that their voice and vote did not count for much. They felt they were tired of economic pressures, that they deserved freedom and equality for both men and women, and that they wanted a better and brighter future without the fears of being thrown into segregation or dead bodies gone missing or brought to their parents or relatives' doorsteps! You want to democracy, well Canada is the best you're going to get! So stop your complaining and live life.

It is funny how the rich countries are protesting for the poor countries who don't even pay attention to these things that much because quite frankly and I may be mistaken but the citizens living in these countries are not thinking about the environment that much, they are not thinking about what Obama does on a daily basis, or nuclear weapons or whatever the cause may be. These people are pretty much only concerned with one thing: how to achieve the means to provide for their families and live life to its full extent. The problem lies in the fact that we (as Canadians and those people the so-called developped world-not to sound condescending at all ) are so lucky and spoiled to have the opportunity to exercise our fundamental and human rights, to voice our opinions and do as we please, knowing full well that there are laws that protect us, a Charter which speaks to those rights, and which in most instances protect us from authoritarianism. We have health care, welfare, benefits, pensions, disability insurance, the best education opportunities, multiple job opportunities. So what if we have to get a loan, to work, in the end we can all be ourselves here. I was therefore ashamed of being a Torontonian for what has happened over the weekend of the summit because when I compare the thousands that came out and started the riots (not all of them are responsible I know I have mentionned that above) with the millions and millions of people that flooded the streets of cities all over Iran and protested in peace (albeit there are the odd few in a crowd but the violence was mainly instigated by the go't), it is well I have no words really, simply nothing to say for myself as a citizen.

Issue #2: The HSTC - the new Ontarian Tax

Today I went to two gas stations and both were packed. One of the gas stations I visited had no more fuel left by the time it was my turn to fill up. We notice long, chaotic lines at every gas station we saw along the way. We saw people getting frustrated while waiting in their cars, horns honking, people getting in little arguments of sorts. WHY ALL THE CHAOS? All to save 0.10 cents/liter which amounts to maybe a total of 4.00-5.00$ in savings. This new tax will hit Ontarians next week. I am wondering, is it really that worth it to wait in line, waste the gas that's already in your tank, stress yourself out for $4.00? My mom asked one of the gentleman what he plans to the following week when he will have to pay the additional tax. He replied that my mother had a very valid point. Figures! This is what I like to call GAS POLITICS! By the way... my tank was past the Empty mark... I had no choice!

money and happiness

2010-06-29T20:44:00.001-05:00

I can have all the money in the world but it won't guarantee my happiness. I can be a successful lawyer with a house and a car and a beautiful family, pay off my loans but it still won't guarantee my happiness. Inside my heart I have a dream! Some say it is a fantasy, some say I am crazy, some say it is self-suffering but I know it is right. I look for understanding, but no one seems to understand... the thing is money is also a solution to these dreams that I have... I hate how in this world, we need money to achieve dreams that are not supposed to require money. I hate how we have to pay to serve the impoverished, to get good references, to live new experiences and go outside our shells. This is why we live our same boring lives, in the same environment content with the simple, mundane tasks of an every day's breath. I want to be different, I want to live those externalities, but the solution I have not yet attained, I do not have the means and therefore I must continue to dream, work hard at a job that inside my heart I know is not completely me but that I must because what I want to do and what pays me are two separate things! I am just rambling....frustrated!

the world of art please step in!

2010-06-26T11:25:00.001-05:00

I am delving more and more deeply into the world of art, music and literature. I love it so much because it resonates with the person I have always been and always will be, only as I grow and gain more experience, I hope that I can a bit stronger and a bit more creative with experience. I am meeting people who share the same passions as I do, and who are helping me along the way. I have revived old friendships which I almost permitted myself to disregard forgetting how good they are and how much they can fulfill your soul! This is absolutely wonderful! I am also reading a lot these days, on psychology, the human body, crime, the spirit and other matters! STEP IN PLEASE!

Saaz pt. II

2010-06-23T23:42:00.000-05:00

When I listen to a setar o tar solo I fall into a paradise, an ecstasy beyond your wildest imaginations. I am in touch with the highest form of love, my thoughts deepen, my concentration and energy levels at their highest, I wander off in trance and sound comfort. I can't wait to be able to be at a level where my own playing can take me there!

Divided

2010-06-23T23:36:00.003-05:00

If only I was born
and knew what I would face
If only I could choose
and not have to wait
If only I could do
what my heart truly desires
and knew that in the end
I could make it through
pay my bills and not have to worry.

If only I was born
in a different time and place
If only there was time
that I wouldn't need to chase
If only I could go back and reveal my true state
and know that in the end
I would make it through
Secure and not have to worry.

If only I could remove
the burdens that society has placed
liberate my heart
knowing it would be accepted and not misplaced
If only I could break these chains
I would, start anew and become a poet, a musician and a writer
If I knew that with such decision I wouldn't be making a mistake.

A lawyer is good, fair and well
passionate, I can save lives as I enjoy
I must say I do enjoy the liberty the profession offers
I will fight till my last breath for those who have nor the means nor the courage
but my heart is missing the one thing that keeps me alive, ART.

If I could, I would turn back and start over again
but such a life is a sacrifice I am not able to conceive
it offers no security and so much reward
I have to think what is best
for now, I am uncertain
all I know is that I am divided...
If only I knew!

pillow hugging!

2010-06-22T08:26:00.000-05:00

On a rainy day such as today, it is best to cuddle in bed under warm soft sheets and a good pillow with a good book in hand, just enjoying the delighful sounds of tear drops trickling down on the rooftop. It is a shame I had to wake up to go to work!

Old days revived

2010-06-20T14:00:00.000-05:00

I signed up for soccer and I have to say it makes me feel like a million bucks! I used to play soccer as a child. To be able to relive those moments is a phenomenal feeling! I feel like a kid again, dressed in uniform with my cleets and shin-guards with a team to support and back me up! It's a great feeling! As well, two years ago, I had really taken time off for myself and I felt great. My goal is to go back and lose the weight I gained, feel good about myself and rebuild my confidence, determination and strength! I know I can do it, and I will!

Thoughts come and go!

2010-06-20T13:57:00.000-05:00

Thoughts come and go...I wish they would just go, leave and not come back! I am happier that way!

Cardio Frappuccino!

2010-06-20T13:56:00.000-05:00

This is what I call my new exercise! I went for a hard workout followed by a light mocha frappuccino with my father! It is father's day and my parents 31st anniversary. Oh how I am so amazed how they are so in love after all these years and still so passionate about one another! I am lucky to have such great parents! Happy father's day to all and to all celebrating their anniversary!

running without an ipod

2010-05-31T22:47:00.002-05:00

is a NIGHTMARE especially when you haven't kept in shape in TWO years! aarrrkk!

forgiveness??

2010-05-30T20:43:00.002-05:00

I have to forgive him eventually for all the anger and hurt he caused me. I will never understand because he is not one to be understood for he himself is lost and needs to find himself, and understand himself or he will continue to hurt others! Maybe he will never get better, this however I have learned is no longer my problem and I no longer care! If I learn to forgive him, I can begin to forgive myself and let go of the anger. This is my other mission on my search to regain my true happiness! It's within me I just have to make it through, resolve all the confusion and seek to forgive and forget! I thank God that I am no longer a part of this mess and I can finally with relief continue life knowing that two years have gone by, I learnt a lot and been through hell and now, I am saved from further damage and can be with someone who has always been there for me and cared for me, loved me no matter how insecure, frustrated and angry I was! hearts***

run for joy!

2010-05-30T20:40:00.000-05:00

some say run for your life, I say run for joy! I started running again and I have to say although it hurts like hell the first or even the second and third time, it is really worth it. I have this nice little trail at the back of my house in my cute little neighbourhood and I decided to go running today. It felt great listening to some persian tunes on my Ipod and then stopping the music for a while to listen to the birds, the breeze blowing ever so softly swaying the trees branches, and watching the river flow ever so gently. Seeking to recover my happiness is my mission this summer, this is definitely a good start!

Finally learnt how to drive!

2010-05-26T15:45:00.000-05:00

Finally. I have learnt how to drive. It was about time. I have close to 2 more hours of driving lessons and I will be certified! Now the toughest part is getting my G2! Hopefully it'll all go well. I am sure my parents will appreciate me driving now haha! :)

First real smile :)

2010-05-23T18:07:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was the first time in a very long while that I smiled and laughed and that laughter was so peaceful, so joyful, so warm and welcoming to my heart, it just felt right. I wish to continue this way of life!

Time to relax

2010-05-19T11:59:00.000-05:00

Finally, time for myself! I can't wait to take care of myself, of my mind, my heart and my soul. Akhey nafass! I should have taken time off a year ago but its not too late! :)

Happiness pt.2

2010-05-16T14:55:00.001-05:00

I look at my old photos, I am smiling in them, I am laughing in them, I am alive.
I look at myself today, for the past few years, I have laughed very little, smiled very little, but have cried tears so many nights. What has happened to me? The positive laughing, social, happy girl I used to be is slipping away slowly and I have no idea how to pull her away from the sadness... I don't know how to recover her, and for her to stay with me. I need to do something soon, or else I will won't ever again be able to find her. I want to smile again and be happy, genuinely happy!

This is a picture of me from my best years...

people don't change, ever!

2010-05-10T10:54:00.000-05:00

Unless they want to!
Unless they try!
Unless they will it
Unless they realize they can!
I was wasting my time
thinking it would change!
It never changes!
All remains the same!
And I am at the very end of my battle!
It is done!
No longer shall this war continue.

fekreh basteh, fekre dogmii, hamineh...

2010-05-08T20:49:00.003-05:00

Ay khanoome mohtaram, agar ke mardom ro azaad mizaashtan in dolat, enghadar javunaa enghelaab nemikardan zede regime... agar jaayee vasseye javunaa dorost konan, bezaaran javuneeshun ro bokonand ba fekreh raahat, jahaaye tafrih, daashtebaashan, jaaame'e yek jaame'e saalem o azaad bud, amniat ham be vojoud miyumad. Ay khanoom,entezaar nadaashtebaash ke mituni daste farzandeto begiri o biyay birun ba khiyaleh raahat o ba amniyate kaamel chun fekr mikonee keshvareh eslaamie. Khanoom, migan eslaami, vali in dorougheh, vaghti messle rooz roshaneh ke daareem too yek jame'eyi zendegi mikoneem kei dolat, dolatist ke javunaa ro messle aab khordan zenduni mikoneh o mikoshe, haghighat ro elaam nemikoneh, hamechi ro penhun mikoneh. Hich jaa too donyaa amn nist, che beresse too yek keshvari ke ghanun mani'i nadaareh, yek keshvari ke az bachegi aaadamaaro sarzanesh mikoneh, va hich kess be ham dige etemaad nadare. Na mardom be dolat etemaad daarand, na dolat say mikoneh in etemaad ro jalb koneh! Khanoom, bebin, bad az 30 saal mardom khaste shodan hala agar shoma nemifahmi taghsireh khodeteh. Bebinid, khanoom, bachato ham majboor nakon ke chador saresh koneh, khodesh ham zende to enghelaab khaahad kard o baraash yek omr tazaad ijaad khahee kard. Shoma raahat boro eteghaade khodet vasseye khodeto negah daar va bezaar digaraan ham eteghaadeh khodeshun ro ham daashtebaashan khanoomeh mohtaram!

love the suit

2010-05-02T23:56:00.000-05:00

I gotta say if law school is tough but I just love wearing the suit!

soud

2010-05-02T23:14:00.001-05:00

rabete soud o manfa'at nadaareh... hamash soude belakhare ye jurayee harchand ham ke bad baashe khoobeh if that makes sense!

thinking too much can make you tired

2010-05-02T23:06:00.004-05:00

Finished 1st year of law school and now I have some time to think about this last year or even more these past two years or so and I am at a loss for words, simply because I never took the time to THINK...I just closed my eyes and with a determined HEART I pushed forward so fast so hard that I have run out of steam and need to take the time to catch my breath, ease my thoughts, wipe my tears, face my sorrows, embrace my joy, continue. I have done right while doing wrong in so many other ways. I have lost but then I have loved and I do love but I feel as if I I am on a permanent balance beam figuring out which one was sweeter.... which one, felt, well right actually! I have lived through vagueness, through uncertainty and have been given a second chance to experience new love and new adventures to reminiscing about the residues of longing to hold on to that feeling once more. My heart does not know better, but my MIND, my REASON, tells me it is time to embrace the now, the present. What can I do... NOTHING ..smile, release my thoughts, grasp for air and listen to the soft soothing melody coming from a distance, the sound of a setar playing, a walk in the snow: freezing cold yet when I held your hand and looked into your eyes, I felt as if I was in the warmest place possible... or a video in the spring time capturing the immature but pure silliness of love...

I saw this movie tonight called Feast of Love.... it made me think... do you think love is everything or just a silly game god plays on us to make babies? This sentence pounds my ears, and forces me to release my feelings, if only I could forget or remember... I don't know, I am tired of thinking, it has made me ill!

1 more day till I finsh my first year of law school

2010-04-27T20:14:00.000-05:00

so many problems, difficulties, but I didn't give up
I didn't let my troubles get in the way
I knew I had to push hard and make it happen
4 months of worrying for nothing and one semester of utter failure helped me to realize that another 4 months of hard work and focus can get me right back on my feet

I dare to say that my failure was a good gift and a very good lesson in life.. one last exam and my first year of law school will be completed! :) I feel normal again!

Rafti az in aaghoosh che raahat, va baaz man tanhaa...

2010-04-27T20:10:00.002-05:00

Rafti az in aaghoosh che raahat
Va baaz man tanhaa o khamoosh cheraaghat

tajrobeh (experience)

2010-04-25T10:05:00.000-05:00

Tajrobeh hamishe khoobe. Ta ye chizi ro tajrobeh nakoni nemiduni ke dar zendegi chi mikhaay, che entezaraayee daari, va dar zemn, khodeto peydaa mikonee o behtar mishenassi va bar asaaseh shenaakhte khodet, behtar mituni tasmim begiri o jelo beri. Kolan tajrobeye khoobi bood! :)

stressout thoughts...

2010-04-23T00:15:00.000-05:00

Stomach aches, acid reflux due to stress, makes for hard to breath sometimes and hard to focus on exams, too many exams mind you, 6 in total, a lot worries, 2 more years of law school, job, debts?, thoughts, happiness, too much coffee and tea not enough rest and exercise, love music and my setar, hope for freedom in Iran, about 8 hrs before my 3rd final exam... knows your rights and freedoms in Canada ppl, going to bed... good night!

I'm starting to wonder if I will ever find it again...

2010-04-22T22:04:00.002-05:00

I thought I had found it and I didn't or maybe I did for sure I did but it was missed or lost for reasons of uncertainty, frustration, anger and of immature or juvenile thoughts. It was lost once. But then I am not sure because by the time that it had been lost, it was always lingering waiting to creep up as if It had been waiting for me to find it again. Circumstances prevented me from reaching the depths of the OCEAN to find THE HEART because it has been BROKEN or RUSTED and no longer worthy of precious possession. But then, there something else was found, I had found it or so I thought. That thing I had lost was lost but it reincarnated into this new form. The joys, the laughter, the pleasure, the calm it brought to my life, the smiles and the maturity. I am very grateful of course, however now I am once more uncertain. I don't even know anymore. Did I truly find it again or was it lost and I had decided that imagination can conquer all and that I would recreate it, no matter what the cost or no matter what the outcome because I believed I could. So if have found it, I am worried that my imagination has led me to believe so but that in reality, it was actually lost ever since it had been found. With all of its joys and pleasures and the warmth but yet there is something... something quite ambiguous in what I had found and now I am at odds ends trying to see if I can find what I have lost again or I may reach the conclusion that what I had found was not mine to begin with ... I don't know....should I retrace my steps to see if I can remember where to find it ? Or should I move forward and hope for the best that it will all work itself out in the end?

*This is not relevant to what I have lost as it is something else than materialistic... however I did lose my USB key a week before my exam, that's four days of lost time.... My friend really liked it and told me how cool it was ( that is my usb key) and after that I had it with me and I lost it... chesh-esh zadan!

****

I took it off my blog

2010-03-17T12:52:00.000-05:00

I had left it on for a little bit, but then I took it off after. Safe.

After a while things to say about me and Iran

2010-02-20T18:14:00.000-05:00

I have a few things to say:

I have been so busy these past months getting my life back in order. I feel better and better each day. SO many things have happened over the past few months and I can't believe how time flies by so quickly. Past wounds are slowly slowly healing and I hope that torn thoughts and feelings can be once again pieced together. Also I would like to add that my heart is with all the youth, women and men in Iran who are fighting for the right to life, for their freedom, a freedom that was God given by nature and has been unrightfully taken away by war mongers and dictators as well as backwards- looking religio-cultural restrictions. I find it perplexing and worrisome that we bring our problems and societal tensions we experience in Iran to Canada and restrict our own people, our own friends living here by monitoring them and what they do, what they say and so forth. We as a people must all accept freedom and then build on mutual trust and respect.

Lastly, I love this song so I thought I'd share it!

Jamshid: Tanhatar

Torn...

2010-01-12T23:18:00.001-05:00

Simply Torn... no other words can describe my feelings.. torn..

hameye jaan o tanam, vatanam, vatanam, vatanam, vatanam!

2009-12-29T16:39:00.003-05:00

No Words ...

2009-12-29T13:16:00.001-05:00

For the freedom movement of Iran....

No historical quotes, no famous sayings, no words can describe the hearts that have continuously been broken, the hearts of our mothers, our youth, our elderly, even those who are on the other side and are acting on brutality. Humanity will prosper in the hearts of all who believe. This is the will of the people of Iran and we will stand by it

Iran, Basij member describes election fraud!

2009-12-29T02:16:00.000-05:00

By Channel 4 News
“Sayyed” is a member of the Basij, Iran’s religious militia. Now living in the UK, he has spoken to Channel 4 News about his role during this year’s presidential elections. We are disguising his identity.
Election orders
“In truth the orders didn’t come after the election. The orders for all that you witnessed came before the election.
“We were prepared. But we didn’t ever imagine that people’s actions would be so great. We had received orders regarding student activities.
“From three or four months before the election we had attended classes on ideological and political thought and crowd control.
“We knew what we had to do but nothing prepared us for what we saw. There were severe clashes in the first few days, and so new orders were given for forthcoming days.”
Religious dilemma
“I’m in complete turmoil all the time. I spent more than twenty years raised like this, and before me a household of martyrs. I keep thinking, which is right? What I’ve chosen now, or the path they’ve taken.
“Our family is no small undertaking. It has many martyrs. My uncle was martyred with Mr D, Mr AHD.
“We are a prominent religious family – always there on the frontline, always with memories of war, frontline and revolution. Since these events I keep thinking, who is right?”
Election build-up
“From three or four months before I had a social undertaking, preparing to see how people would encounter the elections, the level of attendance – would it be well received, do they believe in it, do they think something could still be done?
“It was going well even though they spoke of Khatami (reformist former president) coming, and then he wasn’t coming. All this created excitement. People came with genuine enthusiasm.
“We got various statistics and analysed them. We wanted to get an idea of what the mode of clashes would be.
“When the campaigns began the excitement reached a new height.
“We had received orders a matter of months before that there is jurisprudence, that there is the jurisprudence of the Imam Zaman, (the 13th Imam, who is expected to return like a Messiah) whose incarnation is Ayatollah Khamenei, and that he had announced that for the advancement and development of Islam and the development of the revolution no-one could be more effective than Mr. Ahmadinejad.
“Therefore the order came that Mr Khamenei has him in mind, that Mr Khamenei has Mr Ahmadinejad in mind for the presidency and so he must be announced as the winner.
“It’s he who is best suited to this revolution, order and Velayat Faqih (Iranian system of Islamic jurisdiction)”
“Scary and horrifying”
“I was extremely taken aback. How can I explain? This is someone who I couldn’t even entertain a conflicting thought against.
“It was truly a scary and horrifying scenario to go against wishes or opinion, especially if that opinion belongs to the Supreme Leader or that of the Velayat Faqih, for you to express a personal opinion.
“It was a terrible situation. On the one side I saw the people and on the other there was the order.”
Ballot box fraud
“The answers to your questions go back to before the elections. In the private meeting we had for those responsible for the ballot boxes, including my brother and me, it was made clear.
“The orders were announced as to how everything would be conducted on the day of the election. We were among those responsible for the ballot boxes.”
Role of the Basij
“I don’t know how much you know about the Basij but it is an extremely vast organ, much more extensive than you would imagine.
“Although you may think that it is without formal organisation, it is in fact very precise and extremely organised with sophisticated planning and everything is specified.
“When an order is received, or when the Supreme Leader has announced his opinion, well, Mr D is the spokesman of the leader and we are Mr D’s spokespeople.
“The foundations of Islam and the foundations of Shi’ism and Velayat are such that we have accepted the Velayat. When the Velayat has an opinion, everyone’s opinion must follow, because if it’s outside of this there is no place for you. You’re an outsider.
“He [Khamenei] makes his announcement and Mr D translates this in the form of advice and discussion.
“Everything has a hierarchy. It doesn’t call for Mr Khamenei to come and directly make an announcement to the soldiers, when I say soldier, I, or we, saw ourselves as soldiers of the Imam Zaman.
“He doesn’t need to come and make his announcement to the forces directly, he expresses his opinion and according to the hierarchical system, the news will reach those who need to hear it.
“Mr D’s opinion is an absolute obedience of the Supreme Leader. We’ve been told this in meetings.
“In the private meeting I mentioned to you, the commanders of the Sepah (Revolutionary Guard) were present as well as those of various Basij units from different areas.
“It was imperative to have the leader’s vision, and it was announced then that his vision is this, that he elects Ahmadinejad.”
Election fraud
“For us who were responsible for the ballot boxes the order was this: that Aqa’s [Khamenei's] wish is for Ahmadinejad to win.
“For illiterate people and those not able to complete their ballots, you must do so for them and complete them accordingly (for Ahmadinejad), no matter who their vote was intended for.
“Same with blank votes. In the counting the blank votes wouldn’t be announced as void.
“They [the illiterate] were generally made up of elderly men and women – and they are great believers in the mosque community and religious matters and areas where there is a lower literacy rate like the villages or areas of the big cities.”
Youth vote suppressed
“Our problem was the young people and university students, we had prepared for the others.
“Well they [the students] weren’t around for the count. When they left, how can I say, I’m very ashamed now, but they just came up to the box and then left.
“After the voting was over it was only us who were there. We were honest in that the command was followed.
“When the voting was over, the boxes were opened, but not all of them.
“A few were opened and counted, then we received another order to send the boxes to the main centre.”
Stopping the protests
“Because a reaction was expected, we had been ordered from before the election for all security forces to be ready for the following day.
“They told us to come early for group prayers. We went along with others who’d been invited. Prayers took place. This was followed by a short speech confirming Mr Ahmadinejad’s victory and the congratulations in order.
“Sweets and pastries were offered and the forces were organised into two shifts.
“There were areas that had been previously noted as problem areas – we called them the red points – where security presence was essential.
“These were announced, the shifts were determined and everyone was deployed. It was early.
“We had set out very early before anyone could get started. Everyone took their positions and were armed.
“The command was that we were to prevent any gathering of people to take shape.
Violent suppression
“Any hint of protest was to be firmly supressed. If anything occured, to attack.
“Attacking people meant nothing. As I told you, anyone who thought differently to Ayatollah Khamenei and outside of the Velayat Faqih was considered an outsider.
“Therefore his protest has no place, therefore his opinion and protest is meaningless.
“It was simple. It was not for us to think anything of them – both voters and protesters.
“In our view, it was not a protest against the issue but a protest against Ayatollah Khamenei himself.
“And it’s just not comprehensible to us that someone should want to question him. He is our guide.”
Controlling the city
“On that day in this area there were batons, and cables that coil and extend easily. If it attaches to someone’s hand and you pull it you can do serious harm.
“Sprays like pepper sprays. Some were given handcuffs. Yes, we went prepared.
“Everything went according to plan because everything had been thought through.
“The vehicles came on time, breakfast, prayers, all on time. The city was under our control.”
“Unprecedented” clashes
“Because I had been in charge at the polling station the night before, I was on the afternoon shift. I went home to rest and then came back in the afternoon.
“When I came back I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I never thought. It was unbelievable. The level of clashes was severe.
“This was unprecedented. I had witnessed attacks before but never at this level. People wouldn’t stay back, they couldn’t be suppressed and we were really in trouble.
“As I said, I had issues with everything that had unfolded and was confused. I really didn’t want to get involved. But I had to be there. I didn’t have the right to say I didn’t want to be there. My physical presence was required.
“The clashes were very heavy. The forces were seriously involved and the people wouldn’t give in or retreat in any way. There was no end in sight.
“They would be dispersed then gather again and come back. They were standing up to us.
“I wasn’t one of the ordinary forces to have to involve myself in the situation. I could have, but I also had the choice not to.
“People like me who were supervising and observing and reporting back could just stand there. I stood there silently by my colleagues.
“As I talk to you now everything comes back to me. It’s very hard. I still can’t fathom it all. Why did it have to be like this?”
Permission to shoot
“The first day was very hard for us. When we all got back to the base that night, the commanders gave their reports from the various areas of the city.
“We were told that there would be new orders for the following days. The order came to attack everyone without restraint or mercy regardless of age. Anyone who was in disagreement.
“It was made clear, there was to be no difference between child or adult, men and women. Proper attack, without warning, or any discussion.
“This was very strange to me. Everything was surreal. This was not trivial.
“We had permission to shoot. We were all to be armed. We were supposed to support the police and security forces.
“The next day it seemed that people like us were prepared. They were ready too, and there were more of them. Just as we were prepared, they were too.”
“Watch people die”
“On the second day, I don’t know how to say it, it’s so painful to me, talking about it is hard, the memory of it is awful…the wounded, and those who died.
“It’s really hard to stand there and watch people die. I had to stand there. I had no choice.
“No [I did not kill anyone], I only accompanied others. I was trying not to get involved at all.
“They had prepared a hospital for the wounded and dead. It was a Basij hospital. It was very hard. If there was an issue with killing, it was explained that the killing was for a cause and was a good deed.
“I saw one person killed on the street but in the hospital there were many many more than was seen on the streets – from all parts of the city.
“Because the directive had been given, permission had been granted. It was intolerable.”
Unspeakable things
“It’s from then that things got even worse. We were all strangers. Orders and commands were followed. Clashes took every shape and form.
“How can I say. some of the things are unspeakable. I can’t mentally and ideologically fathom what’s happened.
“In the clashes, anyone who was wounded would be arrested. If they couldn’t catch them they’d get someone else. They would arrest anyone they could.
“It made no difference who it was. Wounded, not wounded. If they were activists, all the better. Young children, young adults.
“The treatment of them – the mode of attack and length of attack on them left me in shock.”
Arrest orders
“The command was to arrest as many 12-18 year olds as possible and bring them back.
“This group caused the most trouble so the idea was not to give them any opportunity to congregate. Many were arrested.
“Again, several locations had been prepared to take them and keep them there.
“The night I was there, I followed my brother there. I hadn’t seen him for several days as we’d been caught up in everything. I have a lot of respect for him and love him dearly.
“Since we were children we’ve always done everything together. We’re like twins. He said, I’ll be there tonight. Come there and we’ll go home together.
Sound of screams
“They had some containers ready. They had arrested some youngsters and were asking them their age and were separating them accordingly.
“Over 18s went into to one container and the under 18s into the several other containers. The number of children under the age of 18 was greater. They filled three or four containers of some 25 people in each.
“I saw all this and passed them on my way into the main courtyard building to see my relative. I greeted him and other friends.
“Then we heard noise from the yard. We thought it must be the youngsters making trouble. We went there and saw there was no-one, just the forces. The sound came from the containers.
“The sound of screams and pleading and crying. We didn’t understand what was going on.
“They were pleading: ‘We’re sorry, please, we regret our actions’. Or screams, or crying. We were confused. I couldn’t believe that they would want to do such a thing: to rape.”
Sexual violence
“This is such a heavy burden, my head hurts. But you’re a woman. I’m sure you understand. Can you give me some time?
“It’s as if it’s replaying in front of me.
“The faces, the screams are with me every moment. It’s not something you can forget or separate yourself from.
“They were pleading, they were crying, they wanted help, but my brother is a more senior authority than me. We went to see what was happening.
“There were two men of the Sepah and they came forward as we approached.
“We asked what all the noise was about. They said “Nothing, this is Fath ol Moin (aid to victory).
“We said: ‘What do you mean, what are you doing? Who’s in there?’
“Because they were Basij from the provinces we didn’t know them. We asked: ‘What’s happening, why are they crying?’
“As we pursued the matter the confrontation got worse and they said ‘You have no right to enter.’ My relative said: ‘What do you mean? I’m one of the leaders here. You can’t tell me I have no right.’
“And it really was so, but they didn’t allow us entry. We were all responsible and we clashed. After a few minutes a vehicle came into the courtyard.
“Someone must have alerted the others that we were trying to prevent them from achieving what they set out to do, the Fath ol Moin.
“They had come for us to prevent the scene from deteriorating. They said our superior had summoned us.
“They said: ‘Let’s go. He wants to speak to you.’ When we got there he was visibly furious, very frustrated. He didn’t speak.
“They said: “Let’s go. Haji wants to speak to you.” My relative was furious and very frustrated.
“He was very angry. When we got there he said: ‘What is this? Sexual abuse is a serious crime. Who gave this order? Who authorised this?
“Haji calmly replied with a smile: ‘This is Fath Al Moin. It’s a worthy deed. There’s nothing wrong with it. Why are you complaining?’
“When he said this Haji thought it would calm my relative down to know this. But the opposite happened, he became more upset. He raised his voice saying: ‘What do you mean it’s not a crime?’
“What do you mean it’s not a recognised crime? That it’s a good deed? Haji saw that he had lost control and said: ‘What’s the big deal? Nothing’s happened. What is the issue here?’
“My relative said again: ‘What do you mean what’s the big deal? Is there anything more filthy than this, more ugly than this? With children, these are children, they haven’t done anything. They’re from our own home town.’
“Haji saw that he couldn’t control him, that he wanted to return to the base and stop what was going on.
“He said: ‘You can stay here for now. Tomorrow we’ll have a meeting about it, we can discuss it and see what the issue is.’
“I insisted on staying with him. But Haji said: ‘You go and rest and we’ll get him home. You go, the driver will take you home and wait there. We’ll call you.’
“They dropped me home and my relative stayed there.”
Pain and shame
“The pain and the shame in front of people and before God. I’ve lost my world and my religion.
“I never thought that these matters could be contaminated like this.
“I thought that I was continuing the path of my uncles and our martyrs. All my interest and enthusiasm: to have the integrity for martyrdom.
“We really saw ourselves as upstanding and separate from others. We really believed that what we did was correct, that we were serving the people, that we were serving God and that our mission was nothing but worshipping God.
“But now I am ashamed in front of people, even say that I was mistaken, and I am ashamed in front of my religion. I committed crimes, knowingly and unknowingly.
“Now I’m left with my conscience punishing me for what I did.
“I hope that God and people forgive me.”